The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance—What Women Should Know: Summary & Key Insights

Before we could help women build confidence, we needed to understand what confidence actually is—and what it is not. Many people confuse it with self-esteem or competence. But confidence is different. Confidence is the belief that you can meet life’s challenges and succeed. Competence is what you can do; confidence is what you believe you can do. We found that women, even when just as competent as men, often hesitate to trust their own abilities.

Confidence is also distinct from arrogance. True confidence carries humility. It’s the quiet inner assurance that you can learn what you don’t yet know. That’s what makes confidence so powerful—it opens the door to growth. And unlike what popular culture suggests, it is not an inborn trait written in our DNA. It’s more like a skill, one we can strengthen through choices and action. When you start seeing it this way, confidence shifts from being an elusive feeling into something practical—a behavior that can be cultivated until it becomes second nature.

What the research makes clear is that there truly is a gap—a measurable divide in confidence between men and women that influences careers, leadership, and life satisfaction. In studies, men consistently rate their abilities higher than they should, while women tend to underestimate theirs—even when performance is equal or superior. The implications of this gap are profound. It means that women hesitate to apply for promotions unless they meet nearly all the qualifications, while men apply feeling ready at sixty percent. It means women hold back in meetings, self-edit their ideas, or second-guess their worth.

Our conversations with women leaders revealed something striking: even at the top, self-doubt lingers. Christine Lagarde, then managing director of the IMF, described how women often question themselves longer, seeking perfection before action. That reflective hesitation costs opportunities. The confidence gap isn’t just an internal issue; it’s a structural one, shaped by social norms and reinforced by workplace cultures that reward assertiveness and risk-taking more commonly encouraged in men. Recognizing this gap isn’t about blame—it’s about awareness. You can’t close what you don’t see.