The Crossroads of Should and Must: Find and Follow Your Passion: Summary & Key Insights

Should is everywhere. It sneaks into our conversations, our decisions, our calendars. It sounds responsible, reasonable, even virtuous. Should tells us we’re good when we comply, when we choose what is expected, when we stay on the road already paved for us.

In the book, I talk about how Should often originates from external voices—our parents, teachers, employers, cultural norms. For years, I listened to Should deeply, believing it was synonymous with success. It told me what kind of designer I should be, what kind of lifestyle I should pursue. But the more I followed Should, the more disconnected I became from my creative instincts.

Should operates from fear. It tells us that deviation will invite judgment or failure. Even when we accomplish what should demands, we often sense an emptiness—an absence of meaning that grows louder with time. It’s the feeling of living someone else’s life. Should isn’t wrong or evil; it can help us function in society. But when Should rules without question, we lose the capacity to hear Must—the voice of who we really are.

You’ve felt that pull, haven’t you? The quiet discomfort beneath your daily routines, the sense that something greater is waiting beyond what is expected. That’s the gateway where transformation begins. The first step is acknowledging that your Shoulds are not immutable truths but inherited scripts. Once you see them clearly, you can start asking, what do I actually want? What if the path I’m meant to follow doesn’t look like what the world says I should do?

Recognition is the spark. Awareness turns obligation into choice. And from choice, everything becomes possible.

When you hear Must for the first time, it may feel like a whisper—subtle, uncertain, but undeniable. Must emerges from the deepest part of ourselves, the space untouched by expectation. It’s the voice that says, paint, sing, start that business, leave that job, love whom you truly love. It doesn’t reason or persuade; it simply knows.

In my own story, Must arrived as an unshakable feeling that I needed to paint. At first, I resisted. I had a career that others deemed exceptional, and the comfort of Should was powerful. But Must kept returning, louder each day. When I finally surrendered, I discovered joy and freedom that no professional milestone had ever given me. This surrender wasn’t neat or simple—it involved fear, uncertainty, and financial risk—but it was real.

Must is uncompromising because it represents truth. It invites vulnerability, experimentation, and self-discovery. It asks us to step outside systems and listen inwardly. The beauty of Must lies not only in creative expression but in the authenticity it demands. When you align with Must, your life begins to take on color, movement, and depth. Work transforms into art, relationships deepen, and even obstacles become opportunities for growth.

Choosing Must doesn’t mean rejecting the world. It means integrating your truth within it—finding a way to live and work that reflects who you are instead of who you are told to be. This is the challenge at the heart of the book: to recognize the crossroads and choose Must, knowing the journey will shape you into something wholly your own.