Relationship Goals: How to Win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex: Summary & Key Insights

Let’s start where most people try to skip ahead—the season of singleness. I know what it feels like to think, “When will I finally meet the right person?” But here’s the truth I had to learn myself: God doesn’t waste seasons. Your singleness is not a curse to escape; it’s a stage to embrace.

When I was single, I often tried to act like I was already in a relationship. I jumped from one connection to the next, looking for validation, imagining that the right partner would fix what felt empty inside. But what I didn’t realize was that I was asking someone else to fill a space that only God could occupy. Until we learn to be whole on our own, we’ll always attract relationships that magnify our brokenness.

In this season, God wants to prepare you, not punish you. It’s a time to learn discipline, build dreams, and discover who you really are outside of anyone else’s approval. The Bible reminds us that Adam had work before he had Eve; he walked with God, named creation, and knew his purpose before he ever knew partnership. The same applies to us. You can’t properly love another person when you haven’t first understood how deeply loved you already are.

So if you’re single, use this time wisely. Develop your character. Strengthen your relationship with God. Heal from old wounds. When you do, you won’t approach dating from desperation but from confidence. Healthy singleness creates healthy relationships—it’s that simple yet that powerful.

Everyone talks about love, but few of us know what it really means. Society tells us that love is chemistry, attraction, and instant connection. But love, as God defines it, is something far deeper and more enduring. It’s not just a feeling—it’s a decision, a covenant, a lifelong commitment to serve another person even when feelings fluctuate.

When I married Natalie, I thought I understood love because I felt it. But when the emotions faded and responsibilities piled up, I had to choose love long after the butterflies had flown. That’s when I discovered that love is less about what you feel and more about what you build. God’s love isn’t transactional; it’s transformative. It doesn’t ask, “What can you do for me?” It asks, “How can I honor God by loving you?”

The Apostle Paul describes love as patient, kind, not self-seeking, not easily angered. Imagine if every relationship functioned by those terms. Real love corrects, forgives, endures. It holds the line when culture says “move on.” When we start to love like that, attraction becomes affection, and affection becomes alignment.

So if you want to experience love that lasts, stop chasing chemistry and start cultivating character. Feelings are fleeting, but faithfulness is forever. The best way to find true love is to become it first.